You go tutors!

Every day I receive Google alerts about stories and statistics regarding test anxiety, test scores and test preparation. I like to keep current with what’s going on in the field.

Here’s one that came across my desk today:  It’s from “Janice R.” who runs a tutoring service in Palm Coast, Florida. Janice offers a good roadmap for students: familiarize yourself with the test, do some solid preparation and get ready for test day.

How often we overlook the essentials!

I applaud Janice R for getting the word out and offering what she can to students who may not be getting the guidance they need and deserve. Keep up the good work!

Janice R is a tutor at WyzAnt.com. Check out their website. While I am not personally familiar their services and therefore can’t yet recommend them, I definitely am intrigued to find out more, and suggest you look them over too.

Feeding the fire within

Every spiritual tradition teaches stopping.  It’s a way to break habits, a way to let space into your otherwise overcrowded life, a way to restore balance.

So this is my break.

I am at a remarkable retreat called vaidyagrama, a healing village, in the south of India. Until January 10, I will be away from computers and emails and telephones.

During times of retreat we can reflect on what has happened and what is to come.  But mostly, we can consider the great gifts we have, right now. 2011 was an extraordinary year. 2012 holds many promises.

I wish you all a happy, healthy New Year. I hope it is off to a good start in the direction that will most bring balance and fulfillment into your life.

Take a moment to breathe

New Year’s greetings to everyone, far and wide!  May it be a year of peace, health and prosperity for all.

Since the beginning of a new year is usually filed with resolutions– which are really thinly disguised attempts to change habits — I’m going to begin the year with a series of posts on habits.

Habits determine the quality of our lives. And they are fundamental if you want to reduce your stress around taking tests.

Life is made up of habits. Think about it. As you are reading this you are breathing (whether you are aware of your breath or not).  As your eyes take in these words do you know whether you are inhaling or exhaling?  Likely not because breathing is such an automatic habit — so much in the fabric of every moment of life -that most of us lose our awareness, or consciousness of it. Yet, it is the single most important tool we have for calming down and staying in the present. Wouldn’t it be helpful if we could use it to our benefit beyond simply staying alive.

Although everyone is breathing, very few of us have any sustained awareness of our breath.  Why is such an awareness important?  Because along the way each of us has adapted and even changed the fundamental habit of breathing so that it corresponds to our own emotional/mental state. Take a person who, every time she hears the word “TEST,” freezes up. In that moment she is stopping her breath. What’s causing her anxiety?  Surely not the four printed letters T-E-S-T. They are merely pixels on a screen, they are not “making” her anxiety. This person’s anxiety comes from her long-time habit of stopping her breath every time she reads or hears the word “TEST.” Her memories, associations and fears about tests have a stranglehold on the one tool that could really help her: her breath.

Try an experiment:  as you read this sentence, exhale deeply.  Keep going until all the air is out. Good.  Now what happens?  The inhale comes in automatically.  That’s the fundamental habit we come in with it at birth (it’s what kicks off life) and it’s what leaves us at death.  I remember sitting with my dear Aunt Rachel when she lay dying at the age of 105.  Over the course of two weeks I watched and listened to her breath, becoming every more shallow, ever shorter, until finally…. it stopped.

Keep your breath going, and keep your attention on your breath. As you click away from this blog xhale, and then inhale on the next thing you do, whether at your computer or away. Sustain your awareness of your breath in any activity you are doing today and forward:  whether it’s cooking, studying, taking a shower, or working out.  When you realize you’ve lost awareness—we all do, most of the time—bring your attention back to your breath. Exhale. Inhale.  Simple.

That’s your first task: just become more aware of your breath.. In a few days we’ll get into the next step of using this basic and most profound tool to our benefit.

OK. Get ready to click away from this blog.  Ready? Exhale.  See you in a few days

Sure enough, she wouldn’t talk to me.

OK, I thought, now what? I saw Amy eyeing a set of colored markers

I have on the floor in my home-office and I asked her if she liked to draw. She nodded. Rather than get into a tug-of-war over her not talking (of course, she would win), I said, “We don’t have to talk. You can draw if you’d like.” She started drawing and got very absorbed in an intricate picture of a group of lizards. When she was done I asked her if she would tell me something about it. All she said was, “It’s a family.”

In the second session she started drawing again, almost immediately. Again, lizards. The identical family as last time. They were in varying sizes and from the expressions on their faces (anger, fear, blankness) was obviously some story behind the picture. I asked Amy if she would tell me the story and she said, “In this family there is a father, a mother, a brother and a sister.”

Of course this corresponded directly to her own family configuration, and the story, as it wound out over several sessions, came clearer: the parent lizards didn’t think the little daughter lizard was as smart as the older brother lizard One day, as Amy was drawing I casually asked her, “So what’s the problem with math?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t understand it.” I asked her if she told anyone that and she shook her head, “No.”

Immediately a light shone for me on her whole situation: here was a child who didn’t understand the teacher but was afraid to say so for fear of that she’d be seen as not being smart. I asked her if this were so. Again, she nodded.

With Amy’s knowledge I spoke with her parents and teacher. I explained to them that it had to be safe for Amy to say, “I don’t understand this,” and that they needed to check in with her about it during or after class and when she was doing homework. I also trained Amy to say these simple words right away, “I don’t understand this.” When she saw it was safe to say it, she did.

Our work together ended several weeks before the math qualifying test and the interview. Her mother called one day and said, “Amy passed the math test and couldn’t’ stop talking at the interview.” She was accepted into the school.

What can we take away from Amy’s story? First, it’s all right not to know, and second it’s necessary to speak up, to confide it to someone who will be accepting. There’s an ancient expression, “He who thinks he knows not, knows; he who thinks he knows, knows not.” While this has deep spiritual implication, the bottom line is that not knowing is a natural, expected and an excellent place to start, provided you have a safe environment to express it.

When you are studying or preparing for a test and you don’t know something, recognize that. Rather than beat yourself up about it, say it—to yourself, and to someone who can help you. This is the first step on a path to building your confidence: it’s OK to not know.

Christmas and Hanukah celebrate light:  Jesus, the light of the world, and the Hanukah, the eternal light in the holy temple.

What does this light mean to us?  It is the light of our spirit, the sustaining force that gives us each the illumination and power to clear the darkness within, to light up the path and kindle the energy (fire) to power us through.

When we are anxious, fearful and tense our world is dark.  We crouch down in a corner, afraid. This often happens before or during a test:  we constantly think,  “How will I get through this? I’ll never make it.” In such moments we can’t see our own light.

But remember the expression, “the light at the end of the tunnel”?   Light is always here.  Put your focus on that. Remember also that you have come through difficult, dark, challenging times before.  That strength, courage and determination you had before have not left you. They are shining bright within you.

Close your eyes and see the light inside of you. See it spreading and creating a circle that encompasses you and any test you are facing.  See yourself, in the light, facing the test with strength and resolve.

Now, open your eyes, and see it with open eyes. Take action.

Follow your coach's direction

I’m in NY for a conference organized by the NY Times on “Schools for Tomorrow.” I met yesterday with Alexandra Zabriskie, a top-notch NY tutor for the SAT and ACT (and school subjects too).  Alex talked about coaching her students to take practice tests under the practice conditions, in other words, when it’s possible, to take at least one practice test at the place you’ll take the actual exam.  ”I tell them how important this is, they say they’ll do it,” Alexandra says, sighing, “But they don’t follow through.”

If you are working with a coach it’s important for two reasons that you follow through. The first is that your coach is not your mother, not your father, not your teacher, but your coach. Your coach knows what you need to do to succeed on the test, just like the coach of an athletic team knows how you should practice to succeed.  Imagine what would happen if you were on a team and you didn’t follow your coach’s direction.

The second reason that this particular coaching — take a practice test at the test site — is important is that you need to simulate the conditions of the exam itself.  Taking the practice test at the site is vastly different than sitting on your bed at home and practicing there. Why? Because at home there are a zillion distractions: texts from your friends, snacks in the fridge, comfy pillow where you’ll just take a rest for “a minute.”   Zzzzzzzzzzzz.  Try doing any of these in the exam room (well, don’t try, actually).

Follow your coach’s direction. Chinese say, left ear in, right ear out. Don’t do that. Hearing what your coach says and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, doesn’t raise test scores. Doing the right things and practicing in the right way does. After all, if you don’t listen to the coach, why do you go to him/her in the first place? doesn’t make sense.

A special shout out to Alexandra Zabriskie in NY. She was an early follower of my work and she does a terrific job of understanding her students’ needs and tailoring her tutoring to them. Check out her website:  http://atoztutor.com. (That’s Alex, on the left, in the picture above.)

Delia Lloyd. Blogger and Journalist

I was introduced to an interesting blog today and the post was apt for this site  “Do You Every Really Leave High School?” and it’s from the blog RealDelia: Finding Yourself in Adulthood,” written by  an American-born journalist in London, Delia Lloyd.  The post focuses on the anxiety dreams many of us continue to have about tests.   In my 35 years as I performance psychologist I’ve heard so many dreams about test anxiety that I’ve lost count. When I was a young child–just around the time I started school — I started having a full-blown nightmare about taking tests. The dream all took place on an enormous sheet of lined paper, the older kind with the red margin running up and down the left side. The teacher– something of a Alice in Wonderland Red Queen type — was standing at the top line, looking very imperious and scary. I had to go up to the top line on the page  and answer a question. My Jungian analyst friends would probably have a field day with this day, but suffice it to say, I found tests scary. Most people find tests scary, and that’s why they dream about them well into adult life.
Delia Lloyd offers this:  ”Whether it’s taking an important test or competing in a do-or-die football match or finally screwing up the courage to ask the girl you’ve had a crush on to Senior Prom, none of us ever fully escapes the clutches of high school.” Why is this so?  Because when we’re in school (I would say even before high school), we’re open, vulnerable, and particularly susceptible to the negative effects of being  judged or rejected. Our self-esteem is wound up in our actions and in how others respond to us. This is all badly reinforced by the high degree of competition and comparison that our schools promote and foster. I think that test anxiety dreams — and now I’ll put on my psychologist hat– point to underlying feelings of unworthiness that are particularly rife in our high school years when we realize we “are”– that existential moment in which we sense we actually exist and that we are this person. Worthiness is something everyone struggles with. I would say it’s one of the root of most psycho-emotional problems. As we grow we realize that worthiness doesn’t come from a test score, or from someone else’s opinion from us, but from a deeply personal, heart-felt sense that who we are, as we are, is OK. And that we have something to offer the world.  So yes, when we have to take a test in later life, or we face a particularly challenging, test-like, situation, our unconscious sends up all those feelings and memories and anxieties that were so much a part of our lives at a very tender time in our growth. Consciousness is like a fishnet– you pull up one part of it and the rest comes with it. If you are feeling anxious about a present-day test, stop, take a good deep breath and feel your feet on the floor. Have the experience of where you are now. There used to be a cigarette commercial (Virignia Slims) with the tag line: “You’ve come a long way baby.” It’s true, you have.  Thank you Delia Lloyd!

The right answer? Strengthen yourself.

The Silicon Valley Mercury News today published an article today about the SAT and ACT. Author Purvy Mody starts off by saying “The words SAT and ACT can conjure anxiety for even the most academically confident student. Standardized testing has become so talked about and so prepared for that I have heard of fifth-graders enrolling in SAT prep classes — something I am highly against.”

5th graders prepping for the SAT?  AYK?  (are you kidding?)

Mody ends the article with this: “Take a class if you need the structure, or get the official books and practice on your own. Whatever method you use, the most important thing is that you do the work. The test will not take itself.” True enough, but columnist Mody is probably thinking “the work” means opening an SAT or ACT book and doing that work. In my coaching experience, learning the content is necessary but not the totality of test prep. The work is not just learning the content– the kinds of items, the subjects, and doing practice questions over and over again. It must include, and be thoroughly integrated with, the work you do on yourself.  Meaning, specifically, learning how to stay calm, confident and focused through the study and practice phases and then when you take the test itself.

You want a good, sturdy platform for your SAT or ACT performance. The platform for test success is the 3-legged stool: body, mind and spirit– being calm, confident and focused. Do that work and you’re well on the road to success.

Would you like to improve your test performance on the SAT or ACT?  If yes, let us know. We’re about to launch a training program that will give you the tools you really need to succeed. Send an email to us at testsuccess@sparkavenue.com.

Let prepping for SAT or ACT be an opportunity to cultivate and strengthen your calm, confidence and focus.

What happens is one word: practice.  He has to practice, practice, practice.  He has to practice becoming more aware of when he tenses his body and when he feeds himself negative thoughts about himself. And he has to practice tools to reduce the stress and turns those unhelpful habits around.

As we spoke I remembered something I learned in one of the first meditation courses I took some 30 years ago. The teacher said, “The Dr. can give you a prescription, but if you just place the prescription on your altar and pray to it every day, and yet never take the medicine how can you ever get better?”  So it’s the case with this medicine — the ongoing, daily practice of becoming more aware of old habits and replacing them with new ones.

The day after our session the client emailed me about how much he got out of it. Then I remembered something my old analyst, a real Viennese psychiatrist, said to me on many occasions, “Ze proof is in ze pudding.”  Let’s see if he practices. One thing I am 100% certain of:  if he does, he will improve and his test scores will be just what he wants them to be: excellent.

Our amazing brain: constantly seeking connection

Having just attended the Learning & the Brain conference in Chicago, I am struck with two competing thoughts I’d like to share:  how much science there is about the brain, and what a challenge it is for teachers to integrate the findings into their daily practice. I attended fascinating lectures about many new scientific studies on the brain and motivation, gender similarities and differences, stress, etc., but at the same time I was left wondering, “How do I implement these discoveries in my work as a teacher and a coach?”  I would like to suggest we need more collaboration between researchers and practitioners– between the scientists and the teachers. One of the

constant themes of the conference was neuroplasticity – how malleable the brain is over a person’s lifespan. We must extend this plasticity to collaboration, to working together, putting scientists in the classrooms and teachers in the lab.  Talking with Kelly Williams, who started off the Learning and the Brain conferences 11 years ago, Kelly shared his dream: have a school where we could teach and study the students and teachers at the same time. Now we’re talking!  So we chipped in to buy a couple of lottery tickets. The Megamillions jackpot that night was $161,000,000. I haven’t yet checked to see if we won.  Just maybe…..!