Afraid? Again?

I’ve recently started coaching three very different people who have exactly the same issue with tests: they’re all afraid of failing.  To be accurate, they’re all afraid of failing again.

Each of them (a high school, college and graduate student) had a bad experience in the past with a test—one didn’t finish in time, one didn’t get the score she wanted and one actually failed.  I’m using the word “bad experience” instead of “failure.”  While every one of us has had a bad experience with a test none of us is a failure because of it.

Following what I wrote in my last post: when you have a bad experience you have two choices with how you are going to hold that experience.  Choice #1: You say to yourself, “Oh, no,  it happened before and it’s going to happen again. For sure. No way I’m going to succeed.”; Choice #2: You say to yourself, “Yes, I did have a bad experience, but  I learned from that experience and what I learned is actually going to help me do better this time.”

So why do so many people – certainly the ones I see in my practice—so readily adopt choice #1?  I think it’s a combination of  things. The “bad” past experience was painful. No one wants to score low, not be able to finish or actually not passing the test, but sometimes these things do happen and the bottom line—and please read this carefully – is that we are meant to learn from all our experiences.  ‘Learn’ means: what did that experience teach me that will help me the next time around?  As soon as we start to uncover the answer to that question, the more quickly and determinedly we can move ahead.

So here’s my challenge to you: think of of a time when you did not do well on a test. What did you learn from that that you can apply to the next time you take that test, or any other test?

I’m going to provide you with some common responses to that question, but first I’d like you to do the work and answer that question for yourself.

In part 3 of this series of posts I’ll not only answer the question, but show you how we can get through previously traumatic experiences in a new, better, and much more fulfilling way.

Richard Wyne and Nora

At the Apple store in Seattle I got into an interesting conversation with Richard Wyne, from Whistler, B.C., Canada. Richard is the head of a company called Polar Solutions, which is in the business of disaster management and emergency preparedness.  They save people’s lives. Talk about stress and performance!. Locating and saving a person trapped in a building, or under an avalanche of snow requires the epitome of being calm, confident and focused.  I met Richard with his trusted partner, Nora, a Senior Avalanche Rescue Dog (German Shepard, Border Collie X). I would love to see them in action.  If your job requires you to keep stress at an optimal level let us know what it is.  I’d love to see Richard and Nora in action (check out their website), and the necessity for them to remain calm,confident and focused. Richard was interested in The Workbook for Test Success, and I look forward to sharing ideas an experiences with him, and with you. Tell us about your stress-related work.

Dr. Joy Magtanong-Madrid

Yesterday my wife and I had the distinct pleasure of attending the Commencement ceremonies for the University of the Pacific, Arthur A. Dugoni School of Dentistry. One of the students who graduated, now Joy Magtanong-Madrid, DDS., was a student several years ago in a post-baccalaureate program in which I was the performance coach.  There were 12 students, like Joy, who had all recently received their bachelor’s degree, and had wanted to go on to dental school, but didn’t get in anywhere they applied. They then applied for the post-bac program, which was a year to get their grades up and improve their scores on the DAT.  What an amazing group of people!  I loved coaching them. Why? Because they were so focused. They had such strong, determined spirits. They each had a goal and were determined to reach it. As I write in the book, focus is a function of the spirit– to be and become your highest self.

Joy was determined. She went through the program. She learned what she had to learn. But when the year was up she still didn’t get into dental school. Did that stop her? No way!  She became a dental assistant, applied again, and the next year started at UoP, arguably the finest dental school in the country. When the President of the University spoke yesterday she commended Joy for managing a most unusual outreach dental program for poverty-stricken children and adults in the Philippines.  Not only that, but Joy received two major awards and one major scholarship!  Her whole family was there to celebrate her achievements. We all went out for an amazing feast at a Burmese restaurant.

Last week a colleague of mine and I were talking about being teachers. I’ve been teaching for 40 years and he’s been teaching for 50. He said, “You know, if only one or a few students really get it, then you’ve done your job.” Joy was, and is, that student for me, as were her colleagues, a few of whom also graduated this week.  Joy took what I had to offer and ran with it.  The world will be a much better place as her spirit goes forth to light the way for others.

An example of this is when we become distracted by our own old fears. I can’t handle this, I’m not good enough, I can’t keep it together…and other negative thinking. “Negative” here means minus-ing, taking away from.  But taking

away from what? When we’re thinking negatively about ourselves we’re taking away from our whole, positive, highest self.

Most of us are fed terribly negative messages about ourselves through our competitive schooling, though the media, through advertising– you name it. We buy into the message I’m not good enough. And then we start to believe it and, like any self-fulfilling prophecy, it comes true.  But it’s not the truth.

Here’s the truth:  you are already your best, positive, highest self.  You have all the potential in the universe. You actually don’t have to do anything at all except support it rather than take away from it.

When you start thinking negatively about yourself don’t get distracted and pulled into that undertow. As soon as you realize you’re thinking that way, stop, plant both feet firmly on the ground, breathe out, and remind yourself of who you really are: your bright, shining, best self,  the one who can make a positive contribution to society.    

The best kept secret is this: you are already that great being.  Put your focus on that.

You owe it to yourself and to everyone– your family, friends and community — to be the great being you already are. Get the negative thinking out of your way.

Use a timer: you'll stay focused

Often people ask me “What’s the best way to stay focused?”

Here’s what I recommend:  use a timer. Whether it’s on your digital watch, your i-pad, your cell phone, or one that you set up on your computer, I’ve found the timer to be my biggest aide to staying focused.

The procedure goes like this:

Say you are studying for a test and you’ve devoted 2 hours for your study time.  The worst thing you can do is to study for the two hours without a stop.  Why?  Research shows that optimal concentration time on any one thing is between 20-40 minutes.

First: decide on your goal for the whole study period. Say it’s to cover a chapter for an upcoming test. Make sure that the goal is realistic for the time allotted. Next, break the task up into small manageable chunks. Set the timer for 25 minutes.  Start working.

When the timer goes off take a 5 minute break:  have a glass of water, do a stretch, take a breath of fresh air. Do not get on your email or cell phone or have a big meal.  Just a 5 minute break!  Then, back to the desk, set the timer again for 25 minutes.  Accomplish the next task to reach your goal.  After the 25 minutes take another 5 minute break.  Repeat this for the second hour.

You will be amazed at how much you accomplish. The timer is a tool: a friendly reminder to stick with what you are doing, with the gentleness of knowing you’ll have a short break in a little while.  Try it. It works!

Things didn’t work out the way he planned.  Uncharacteristically, his test performance was sub-par. He barely got through.  This was a smart,

well-prepared individual, and it was hard for everyone, the student included, to understand what went wrong.

“Here’s where the 3 legged stool came in,” the teacher said. “The student was certainly confident– he was experienced with the procedure.  That leg was strong. But although he tried to keep a good ‘game face’ and appear like everything was all right, he was quite upset about the family situation. In other words, he wasn’t calm.  But the really wobbly leg was his focus–he was thinking about the people in his family, the lost loved one, and having to catch a plane to get to the funeral. His attention wasn’t on the test.”

The teacher had performed a great service to the student by framing the test experience in this way. He elevated the discussion to a much more meaningful level than just a grade.  The teacher helped the student to look at his own experience in a way that had meaning, and implications well beyond his training. Through the lens of the 3-legged stool the teacher guided the student to understand what’s truly going on. His ability to focus was severely weakened in this particular circumstance.

In the course of our daily lives, in and out of work, we are all faced with challenges big and small. Sometimes these challenges are in the work itself, sometimes they are simply part of life. The 3 legged stool is a secure platform on which we can handle any of these challenges.  Calm, confident and focused.

Ultimately, tests are not just about learning the right “stuff,” they are about continuing to grow and live  to our full potential.

When I speak around the country I’m often asked to give some “quick tips.”  I’ve come to equate this term with “magic bullet”– in other words, “tell me something I can do right now to take away my anxiety,” “give me a pill, doc.”

There are two problems with that way of thinking: the first is that if you do something it’s just for “right now” and the second is the notion that something or someone can “take away” your anxiety.

i believe it’s better if you understand that your test anxiety is a habit– I want to say “just a habit”, but don’t want you think I’m minimizing it with “just”– but that’s what it is, a habit. In other words, you’ve built up a certain reaction to tests and that reaction is anxiety.  Every time you hear the word “test” or think about a “test” or take a “test”…. here comes the anxiety. Your body, mind and spirit are all conditioned, or habituated, to behave in a certain way around tests. So, along with “test” comes all this stuff of anxiety: rapid heart beat, self-doubt, distraction.

One of the great things about habits is that they are learned, and– here’s the really good news– one habit can be replaced by anotherl. (I don’t like to use “good” and “bad” with habits– I think some habits are helpful and some aren’t). In general anxiety is not a helpful habit — some blood pumping and energy boosting before and during tests is good and even helpful– but when it goes into the anxiety zone it’s not helpful.

If you want to reduce your test anxiety you need to put new habits in place– habits that help you calm down, feel more confident, and stay focused. That’s what the workbook is all about. Yes, it’s a book filled with “tips”– but they are really new habits to be practiced and learned. They don’t take away the anxiety, they replace it. with calm, confidence and focus.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be and work in that direction.

Send me your comments and questions and tell me about the habits that aren’t helping you and  that you would like to replace.

These discussions, Hernandez stated, gave the students “an intellectual diversion from preparing for the Maryland School Assessment, the examinations in reading and math that are a near-obsession for administrators and teachers.”

Hernandez goes on to describe the lively and engaging philosophical discussions — started by forward-thinking teacher Kathy Gregory — that students get into over lunch. To me what was most interesting was this activity is seen — at the school and by the reporter– as a balance to test prep.  After reading the article (which I recommend you do), you’ll see that in an activity like this one students are gaining exactly the foundation skills they need to be successful test takers. In other words, they are learning to be calm, confident and focused. This real life training is invaluable and it carries right over into test taking.

When students come together to discuss important issues, on which they have to take a personal stance, they need exactly the skills described in The Workbook for Test Success. It’s a living example of the 3 legged stool.

One of the biggest problems with standardized state tests (like the Maryland School Assessment or the STAR test in California) is that many students find it very hard to be motivated for these tests. My guess is that engaging group activities in school, like the one described in the article, aren’t a diversion, they are building performance and achievement skills that can serve as a springboard for wanting to do well in other activities (like standardized tests).

Thank you Nelson Hernandez for writing about uplifting, nurturing stories like this one. And thank you teacher Kathy Gregory– and Kenmoor principal Maha Fadli — for supporting student growth, To read the article go to: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/03/AR2010010301690.html?hpid%3Dtopnews

A month later I received the following email from the student:

“I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for all your insight in your book, and for talking with me that day. I took my LSAT last Saturday, and the day before the test I decided to read your book. It was probably one of the most helpful things I did for myself all month! Even more so than studying countless hours of my test preparation books. I used your techniques before and during my test, and despite not knowing my score, I feel like the positive self talk and breathing helped me focus and be confident to answer all of the questions. So I just wanted to thank you so much for your work!”

I greatly appreciate hearing from someone who used the book and found it so helpful.   Notice that she opened it up the night before the test!  What does this tell me?   I’ve coached many candidates for the LSAT (as well as MCAT, DAT, GRE’s etc). What they say is the same as the student I’m quoting:  they study countless hours. They have put in self-effort, they have done so much to grasp the material. But when they get derailed with anxiety on such an important test (and many people do), their performance  suffers and they end up with sub-par scores. What’s going on here? Burning more midnight oil?

No.

You need to prepare your self—meaning you, the test-taker –  to be calm, confident and focused. In this case, it helped this student right before the test. She didn’t say this much in the email but my guess is she slept better and a rested body and mind help a lot during test. On the test itself she definitely recognized the tools helped her. Her experience makes the point: pay attention to the person taking the test—to yourself—it will  make a huge difference.

Nieves Stiker, an educator involved in GED test prep classes in Pennsylvania said. “Some people come to us and feel very adequate within a couple of weeks while others, no matter how hard they study, it’s harder. Sometimes, it takes more than one try.”

In my performance model – the three-legged stool — focus is a critical leg. Without it you cannot achieve any measure of success. In other words, you will not get anywhere in life.

In regard to testing, focus is a noun  and a verb. There is a goal of scoring well on the test, and there is work toward that goal.

Being focused is, ultimately and intimately, linked to a powerful source in you-your spirit. Think of your spirit as your power generator. It produces the energy that sparks every one of your achievements.

I hope GED test takers read Chapter Six: How to Stay Focused.

Here’s a pointer. While the goal of doing well in GED seems large and overwhelming to many, remember this: any goal can be broken down into small, manageable chunks. These are action steps. Action steps break up the process of achieving a goal into do-able increments. I use the simple SMART formula to make action steps work.

Specific. Your goal is precise and well defined.

Measurable. You can gauge whether you’ve reached it or not.

Adjustable. You can adapt or modify it if you need to.

Realistic. Your goals are attainable given your available time, energy and resources.

Time-based. Whatever goal you set is linked to the clock or calendar.

Whether you are a GED test-taker or teacher, I’d like to hear from you.

You might be interested in the article about the GED test-takers.

I’m on my way to New Orleans to speak at a conference for the Coalition for Essential Schools Conference, a group of progressive educators across the country. My talk is  MAKING TESTING EMPOWERING.  I speak on Friday. Keep you posted.  In the meanwhile, GED’ers– keep empowering yourselves!