December 27th, 2011
A young girl was brought to me because she was failing in math. Her parents were concerned that she wouldn’t get admitted to the competitive middle school to which she was applying. And there was also another potential problem: the interview. The girl, I’ll call her Amy, tended to shut down with strangers.
Sure enough, she wouldn’t talk to me.
OK, I thought, now what? I saw Amy eyeing a set of colored markers Read the rest of this entry »
December 24th, 2011
After the days have gotten shorter and the nights longer we move through the winter solstice. The days begin to lengthen. More and more light comes in, slowly, little by little.
Christmas and Hanukah celebrate light: Jesus, the light of the world, and the Hanukah, the eternal light in the holy temple.
What does this light mean to us? It is the light of our spirit, the sustaining force that gives us each the illumination and power to clear Read the rest of this entry »
June 13th, 2011
Dr. Joy Magtanong-Madrid
Yesterday my wife and I had the distinct pleasure of attending the Commencement ceremonies for the University of the Pacific, Arthur A. Dugoni School of Dentistry. One of the students who graduated, now Joy Magtanong-Madrid, DDS., was a student several years ago in a post-baccalaureate program in which I was the performance coach. There were 12 students, like Joy, who had all recently received their bachelor’s degree, and had wanted to go on to dental school, but didn’t get in anywhere they applied. They then applied for the post-bac program, which was a year to get their grades up and improve their scores on the DAT. What an amazing group of people! I loved coaching them. Why? Read the rest of this entry »
May 20th, 2011
I climbed into a taxi after a hard day at work. The driver gave me a friendly greeting, but something was wrong — for me. The volume of the cab radio was up, way up. I was looking forward to a quiet ride back to the hotel. This was anything but. What should I do?
There was a time when I was afraid to ask a taxi driver to turn the radio down or off (“It’s their cab!”). But I got over that: why be afraid to ask? So I did, and I do, and for the most part taxi drivers comply, though a few give me the “I’d rather not” vibe.
This driver turned the radio off. The cab was quiet. I settled back in the seat and let go of the day’s cares.
The morale: do what you can to achieve the quiet you need.
And if the driver had said “No!”? Well, there’s always another taxi. I look at it as a learning moment. A moment to build confidence. A moment to turn away from the mental chatter that disconnects me from my spirit.
March 29th, 2011
Take the time...
I was on my bicycle yesterday and I came to an intersection with a red light.
Before being hit by the taxi, when I was biking around town I would routinely sail through red lights and stop signs if I didn’t see anyone coming (well, full disclosure: even if I saw someone coming, if I judged I could sail through the intersection before they got there, I would). Post-taxi, I honor every red light and stop sign.
So here I am, facing a red light, at a completely quiet intersection, no one coming in any direction. The light says “Stop!”, and stop I do. Suddenly, I feel
March 26th, 2011
If you’ve noticed, the last post here was in December! Where have I been all this time? Read on…
On January 8 I was crossing the street in NYC and was hit, head-on, by a taxicab who was speeding through at light at 35 mph. Slam! 3,000 pounds of rock-hard steel rammed into the right side of my body. I flipped up onto the hood, smashed the front window and went flying through the air, landing on my back in the middle of Broadway. Rushed Read the rest of this entry »
January 22nd, 2010
Facing life's tests
I have good news and, well, not-so-good news for you test takers.
Let’s get the not-so-good news over with. Here’s the deal: we cannot choose most of the tests we face in life.
Now, here’s the good one. Drum roll, please…
We can choose how we’re going to face all those tests.
Are we going to have a miserable experience, crumble under the pressure, run away, or avoid challenges altogether?
Or are we going to find the strength and inner resources to rise to the challenges and fully actualize our potential?
November 11th, 2009
Talking about his family, President Obama said, “And part of our job as parents — Michelle and my job — is not just to tell our kids what to do, but to start instilling in them a sense that they want to do it for themselves.”
I remember a high school student brought in by her parents. I asked her, “Do you know why you are here?” She immediately replied, “Yes. My parents want me to get higher SAT score. And I don’t want to work for it.”
Then the three of them leaned in. All eyes were on me…
November 6th, 2009
A student, I’ll call her Sophie, came to me for coaching recently. She’s been having terrible problems with tests, saying she “freaks out” every time she takes an important exam.
I asked Sophie to explain what she meant by “freak out,” she described the intense static going on in her mind while she attempts to answer the questions. “I keep thinking, I don’t understand the question … I didn’t study the right things … I don’t remember anything … I’m not going to get this answer right … My scholarship won’t be renewed.” Her voice trailed off. She looked discouraged and dejected as she whispered, “It’s a mess.”
Rings a bell?
November 2nd, 2009
Speaking tomorrow on test taking and presentation skills. UCSF Mission Bay campus. Here's the description and the link. Please attend! PERFORMANCE: PUMP UP SUCCESS SKILLS II Tuesday, November 3, 4-5pm, N114 Genentech Hall MB First you prepare. Then you perform. Learning invaluable tools to access, process, and retrieve the right information in the right situation is key to success. You can perform according to your potential: capable, in charge, and successful. Dr. Bernstein's techniques add the final touch to intense preparation. "I am confident I will continue to use these techniques throughout my career," 3rd yr. grad student UCLA. Genentech Hall is on the map http://www.ucsf.edu/maps/ I'll have to check with Pam about parking and what is best that time of day. I think the BART and T line would be way too cumbersome.
