Dr. Joy Magtanong-Madrid

Yesterday my wife and I had the distinct pleasure of attending the Commencement ceremonies for the University of the Pacific, Arthur A. Dugoni School of Dentistry. One of the students who graduated, now Joy Magtanong-Madrid, DDS., was a student several years ago in a post-baccalaureate program in which I was the performance coach.  There were 12 students, like Joy, who had all recently received their bachelor’s degree, and had wanted to go on to dental school, but didn’t get in anywhere they applied. They then applied for the post-bac program, which was a year to get their grades up and improve their scores on the DAT.  What an amazing group of people!  I loved coaching them. Why? Because they were so focused. They had such strong, determined spirits. They each had a goal and were determined to reach it. As I write in the book, focus is a function of the spirit– to be and become your highest self.

Joy was determined. She went through the program. She learned what she had to learn. But when the year was up she still didn’t get into dental school. Did that stop her? No way!  She became a dental assistant, applied again, and the next year started at UoP, arguably the finest dental school in the country. When the President of the University spoke yesterday she commended Joy for managing a most unusual outreach dental program for poverty-stricken children and adults in the Philippines.  Not only that, but Joy received two major awards and one major scholarship!  Her whole family was there to celebrate her achievements. We all went out for an amazing feast at a Burmese restaurant.

Last week a colleague of mine and I were talking about being teachers. I’ve been teaching for 40 years and he’s been teaching for 50. He said, “You know, if only one or a few students really get it, then you’ve done your job.” Joy was, and is, that student for me, as were her colleagues, a few of whom also graduated this week.  Joy took what I had to offer and ran with it.  The world will be a much better place as her spirit goes forth to light the way for others.

It's my goal!

Claire, a high school senior,  was brought to my office by her two parents. She was an outstanding student– 3.5 GPA, captain of the soccer team, a volunteer in public service activities– all the makings for a great college application. The issue was her SAT scores. “Not high enough,” said her Mom when we talked on the phone.

So Mom and Dad brought Claire in for a consult. My opening question was directed towards her. “So Claire, why are you here today?”  She looked at her Mom and then her Dad and then at me, “I’m here because my mother wants me to get higher SAT scores.”  There was an audible gasp from the…

parent gallery. Then Claire [not her real name] leaned in and looked directly at me and delivered the kicker, “And I don’t want to work for them.”

Claire and I worked together for the rest of the session. She was taking an SAT course (“I hate it”) and I gave her some exercises to practice (her weak “leg” was her ability to sustain her focus).  She seemed to enjoy the session and I liked her. She was bright, forthright and engaging.  She came back for the next session, sat down, looked right at me and said, “I didn’t do anything you told me to.”  ”OK, I said, that’s not so unusual. You don’t know me and you don’t like your SAT course, so I’m not surprised.”  We talked some more, I gave her a few more exercises to do at home while she practiced test items, and she came back for the third session and said, now rather defiantly, “I didn’t do anything you told me to.”

I smiled. “Claire,” I said, “I like you. You’re a bright kid and I would like to work with you. But I’m not into struggling with the people I work with. So this is our last session.” Clearly this surprised and rattled her. She certainly didn’t expect me to toss her out.  I asked her, “Do you know what college you want to go to?”  Of course she did– it was one that was hard to get into.  ”Do you know what SAT scores the college is looking for?” Of course she did. And at that moment the penny dropped. She wasn’t going after higher scores because her mother wanted. She, Claire, wanted them.  Suddenly she realized that it was her goal.

I’m telling this story because I want you to think about your goals. Unless you are motivated, it’s going to be very hard for you to put in the work to reach the goal.  What’s the point here? Own your goals; make them yours. Not what your parent wants, not what your teacher wants, but what you want. And if you’re a parent or a teacher reading this, make sure you’re not confusing your goals with your child’s or student’s.  Kobe Bryant doesn’t score because Phil Jackson wants him to. He scores because he wants to.

The first student — I’ll call her Aly — is determined to score well in her college level courses and is doing what’s necessary  to make that happen. The second — I’ll call her Erika — wants to score well but she’s often distracted and her grades are sub-par.

What’s going on?  Aly is focused, Erika is not. Focus means having a goal and taking actions that get you to it. That’s what

Aly is doing. She sets herself a task and she accomplishes it.  Each task that she accomplishes lead her closer to her goal of getting good grades.  She stays on the path and if she veers off it she gets back on and keeps going. Erika– who’s got the same amount of brain power as Aly– winds up checking email, or talking on the phone, or watching TV when she knows she should be studying.

In the next posts I’m going to go into more depth about these two scenarios.  But to start: which one do you identify with– Aly or Erika?

Here’s some hope: even if you are way off the path, you can always get back on it. You can succeed. How?  Stay tuned!

An example of this is when we become distracted by our own old fears. I can’t handle this, I’m not good enough, I can’t keep it together…and other negative thinking. “Negative” here means minus-ing, taking away from.  But taking

away from what? When we’re thinking negatively about ourselves we’re taking away from our whole, positive, highest self.

Most of us are fed terribly negative messages about ourselves through our competitive schooling, though the media, through advertising– you name it. We buy into the message I’m not good enough. And then we start to believe it and, like any self-fulfilling prophecy, it comes true.  But it’s not the truth.

Here’s the truth:  you are already your best, positive, highest self.  You have all the potential in the universe. You actually don’t have to do anything at all except support it rather than take away from it.

When you start thinking negatively about yourself don’t get distracted and pulled into that undertow. As soon as you realize you’re thinking that way, stop, plant both feet firmly on the ground, breathe out, and remind yourself of who you really are: your bright, shining, best self,  the one who can make a positive contribution to society.    

The best kept secret is this: you are already that great being.  Put your focus on that.

You owe it to yourself and to everyone– your family, friends and community — to be the great being you already are. Get the negative thinking out of your way.

Use a timer: you'll stay focused

Often people ask me “What’s the best way to stay focused?”

Here’s what I recommend:  use a timer. Whether it’s on your digital watch, your i-pad, your cell phone, or one that you set up on your computer, I’ve found the timer to be my biggest aide to staying focused.

The procedure goes like this:

Say you are studying for a test and you’ve devoted 2 hours for your study time.  The worst thing you can do is to study for the two hours without a stop.  Why?  Research shows that optimal concentration time on any one thing is between 20-40 minutes.

First: decide on your goal for the whole study period. Say it’s to cover a chapter for an upcoming test. Make sure that the goal is realistic for the time allotted. Next, break the task up into small manageable chunks. Set the timer for 25 minutes.  Start working.

When the timer goes off take a 5 minute break:  have a glass of water, do a stretch, take a breath of fresh air. Do not get on your email or cell phone or have a big meal.  Just a 5 minute break!  Then, back to the desk, set the timer again for 25 minutes.  Accomplish the next task to reach your goal.  After the 25 minutes take another 5 minute break.  Repeat this for the second hour.

You will be amazed at how much you accomplish. The timer is a tool: a friendly reminder to stick with what you are doing, with the gentleness of knowing you’ll have a short break in a little while.  Try it. It works!

Things didn’t work out the way he planned.  Uncharacteristically, his test performance was sub-par. He barely got through.  This was a smart,

well-prepared individual, and it was hard for everyone, the student included, to understand what went wrong.

“Here’s where the 3 legged stool came in,” the teacher said. “The student was certainly confident– he was experienced with the procedure.  That leg was strong. But although he tried to keep a good ‘game face’ and appear like everything was all right, he was quite upset about the family situation. In other words, he wasn’t calm.  But the really wobbly leg was his focus–he was thinking about the people in his family, the lost loved one, and having to catch a plane to get to the funeral. His attention wasn’t on the test.”

The teacher had performed a great service to the student by framing the test experience in this way. He elevated the discussion to a much more meaningful level than just a grade.  The teacher helped the student to look at his own experience in a way that had meaning, and implications well beyond his training. Through the lens of the 3-legged stool the teacher guided the student to understand what’s truly going on. His ability to focus was severely weakened in this particular circumstance.

In the course of our daily lives, in and out of work, we are all faced with challenges big and small. Sometimes these challenges are in the work itself, sometimes they are simply part of life. The 3 legged stool is a secure platform on which we can handle any of these challenges.  Calm, confident and focused.

Ultimately, tests are not just about learning the right “stuff,” they are about continuing to grow and live  to our full potential.

A month later I received the following email from the student:

“I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for all your insight in your book, and for talking with me that day. I took my LSAT last Saturday, and the day before the test I decided to read your book. It was probably one of the most helpful things I did for myself all month! Even more so than studying countless hours of my test preparation books. I used your techniques before and during my test, and despite not knowing my score, I feel like the positive self talk and breathing helped me focus and be confident to answer all of the questions. So I just wanted to thank you so much for your work!”

I greatly appreciate hearing from someone who used the book and found it so helpful.   Notice that she opened it up the night before the test!  What does this tell me?   I’ve coached many candidates for the LSAT (as well as MCAT, DAT, GRE’s etc). What they say is the same as the student I’m quoting:  they study countless hours. They have put in self-effort, they have done so much to grasp the material. But when they get derailed with anxiety on such an important test (and many people do), their performance  suffers and they end up with sub-par scores. What’s going on here? Burning more midnight oil?

No.

You need to prepare your self—meaning you, the test-taker –  to be calm, confident and focused. In this case, it helped this student right before the test. She didn’t say this much in the email but my guess is she slept better and a rested body and mind help a lot during test. On the test itself she definitely recognized the tools helped her. Her experience makes the point: pay attention to the person taking the test—to yourself—it will  make a huge difference.

Students and parents make a great audience

We had a book reading and signing at Clayton Books in Clayton CA last night.  I greatly enjoy the interaction with students and parents.

The lively discussion produced some interesting questions. One, from a parent, was: “What if my child has trouble focusing while studying, but not during a test?”

The question was provocative because on the surface it looks simple: her child tends to get distracted when she studies, but on the test she can stay focused. However, the issue is one of consistency. Because the student is also an athlete she has trained herself to stay focused when she’s on the field. She knows she needs to do that in order to win. Studying is a different story: because she’s smart and capable she has figured out– as all smart and capable students do– how to get the least amount done at the last possible moment. This actually causes a lot of stress. People call it “procrastination.” I call it doing something other than what you should be doing.

When you are supposed to be studying, you need to study. If you don’t, and you stay disconnected from the material, your stress keeps rising and your performance will suffer. Put simply, you just won’t be that well prepared than if you study in a focused manner.

We talked about the best way to study: set a timer and then study in  30-40 minute chunks. After each chunk take a short break (short means short! — no TV, internet or naps). Do that three times. After the third 30-40 minute chunk you can take a break of a half hour. Repeat this process once or twice more.

You will be amazed at how much you accomplish.

A young and interested reader!

Nieves Stiker, an educator involved in GED test prep classes in Pennsylvania said. “Some people come to us and feel very adequate within a couple of weeks while others, no matter how hard they study, it’s harder. Sometimes, it takes more than one try.”

In my performance model – the three-legged stool — focus is a critical leg. Without it you cannot achieve any measure of success. In other words, you will not get anywhere in life.

In regard to testing, focus is a noun  and a verb. There is a goal of scoring well on the test, and there is work toward that goal.

Being focused is, ultimately and intimately, linked to a powerful source in you-your spirit. Think of your spirit as your power generator. It produces the energy that sparks every one of your achievements.

I hope GED test takers read Chapter Six: How to Stay Focused.

Here’s a pointer. While the goal of doing well in GED seems large and overwhelming to many, remember this: any goal can be broken down into small, manageable chunks. These are action steps. Action steps break up the process of achieving a goal into do-able increments. I use the simple SMART formula to make action steps work.

Specific. Your goal is precise and well defined.

Measurable. You can gauge whether you’ve reached it or not.

Adjustable. You can adapt or modify it if you need to.

Realistic. Your goals are attainable given your available time, energy and resources.

Time-based. Whatever goal you set is linked to the clock or calendar.

Whether you are a GED test-taker or teacher, I’d like to hear from you.

You might be interested in the article about the GED test-takers.

I’m on my way to New Orleans to speak at a conference for the Coalition for Essential Schools Conference, a group of progressive educators across the country. My talk is  MAKING TESTING EMPOWERING.  I speak on Friday. Keep you posted.  In the meanwhile, GED’ers– keep empowering yourselves!