December 27th, 2011
A young girl was brought to me because she was failing in math. Her parents were concerned that she wouldn’t get admitted to the competitive middle school to which she was applying. And there was also another potential problem: the interview. The girl, I’ll call her Amy, tended to shut down with strangers.
Sure enough, she wouldn’t talk to me.
OK, I thought, now what? I saw Amy eyeing a set of colored markers Read the rest of this entry »
August 23rd, 2011
Afraid? Again?
I’ve recently started coaching three very different people who have exactly the same issue with tests: they’re all afraid of failing. To be accurate, they’re all afraid of failing again.
Each of them (a high school, college and graduate student) had a bad experience in the past with a test—one didn’t finish in time, one didn’t get the score she wanted and one actually failed. I’m using the word “bad experience” instead of “failure.” While every one of us has had a bad experience with a test none of us is a failure because of it.
Following what I wrote in my last post: when you have a bad experience you have two choices with how you are going to hold that experience. Choice #1: You say to yourself, “Oh, no, it happened before and it’s going to happen again. For sure. No way I’m going to Read the rest of this entry »
May 20th, 2011
I climbed into a taxi after a hard day at work. The driver gave me a friendly greeting, but something was wrong — for me. The volume of the cab radio was up, way up. I was looking forward to a quiet ride back to the hotel. This was anything but. What should I do?
There was a time when I was afraid to ask a taxi driver to turn the radio down or off (“It’s their cab!”). But I got over that: why be afraid to ask? So I did, and I do, and for the most part taxi drivers comply, though a few give me the “I’d rather not” vibe.
This driver turned the radio off. The cab was quiet. I settled back in the seat and let go of the day’s cares.
The morale: do what you can to achieve the quiet you need.
And if the driver had said “No!”? Well, there’s always another taxi. I look at it as a learning moment. A moment to build confidence. A moment to turn away from the mental chatter that disconnects me from my spirit.
November 1st, 2010
Prepare yourself!
A blog post about preparing for the the US Medical Licensing Exam (USMLE) came through today. I’d like to analyze it a bit and add my two cents (quoting the post in italics)
The most straightforward strategy to do well at taking an exam is undoubtedly by just taking practice exams. It really is as approximate as you will get to taking the real examination. Whenever you only possess time to finish just one thing to get ready for… Read the rest of this entry »
August 1st, 2010
A close friend of mine — a nurse at an inner city high school – told me the following story…
“I was in my office and an 11th grader came in all distraught worked up. This is one tough kid– she’s had many troubles in her life, and has gotten into a lot of trouble too. She’s usually closed down and angry. On the day she came into my office she was very upset — she’d had had a bad fight with a close friend who rejected her. She was angry and ready to strike out. I didn’t know what to do with her. She couldn’t sit still. When I glimpsed The Workbook for Test Success …
June 10th, 2010
The President and perseverance
President Obama delivered the commencement address at Kalamazoo Central High School on June 7. His speech roused the graduates to consider the future they are holding in their hands. Here’s what the President said:
Now, graduates, all these folks around you, I have to say, though, with the cameras and the beaming smiles — they’ve worked hard to give you everything you need to pursue your dreams and fulfill your God-given talent. Unfortunately, you can’t take them with you when you leave here. (Laughter.) No one is going to go
May 25th, 2010
All of us, at some time or other, struggle with an inner voice that is critical, negative and even harsh. In its milder forms it sounds like this: “I can’t handle this,” “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t have what it takes.” In its more extreme form it’s judgmental and critical: “I’m stupid,” “I’m a loser,” “I’ll never succeed.”
What do you do when this negativity surfaces? You may try to ignore it or hide it. You don’t want others to know you feel “less than”– after all, everyone else seems to be doing so well. So you’re humiliated, thinking there’s something wrong with you. Stop. Let’s start right here. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re having a confidence crisis. No more. No less.
“Confidence” is made up of two root words: “con” which means “with” and “fidence” which comes from the Latin that means faith, loyalty, fidelity, belief in, trust. When we lack confidence we don’t believe in ourselves.
December 14th, 2009
Recently, I met a student who was anxious about taking the LSAT. She came to my book launch, brought by her sister, to get help for her test taking anxiety. The student was skeptical, but her sister bought her a copy of the book anyway.
A month later I received the following email from the student:
November 12th, 2009
I came across an article about a successful program designed for at-risk students and dropouts working toward their GED. It’s an 18 month program in which students learn academic, personal, leadership and vocational skills through hands-on-activities.
Karen Bryant, who mentors students even after graduation, said she credits the success of the program to a relationship built on trust and respect with her students. Many of the students have remained friends of Bryant over the years.
In the ‘confidence’ leg of my 3-legged stool performance model I explore into the relationship between ‘trust’ and ‘confidence.’
November 10th, 2009
A review of THE WORKBOOK FOR TEST SUCCESS just got posted on Amazon from an individual preparing for a licensing exam. It’s titled, “The Best Investment I Made.”
The highly enthusiastic review has a line in it I’d like to share. By using the book the reader said “I was able to open up to my study group about what I was experiencing. Consequently we have turned into a real support group.”
