Boosting your confidence: quick tip
November 6th, 2009
A student, I’ll call her Sophie, came to me for coaching recently. She’s been having terrible problems with tests, saying she “freaks out” every time she takes an important exam.
I asked Sophie to explain what she meant by “freak out,” she described the intense static going on in her mind while she attempts to answer the questions. “I keep thinking, I don’t understand the question … I didn’t study the right things … I don’t remember anything … I’m not going to get this answer right … My scholarship won’t be renewed.” Her voice trailed off. She looked discouraged and dejected as she whispered, “It’s a mess.”
Rings a bell?
Sophie was describing one of the worst experiences a test taker can have: losing self-confidence during the test. When you are trying to figure out an answer and your mind starts broadcasting negative thoughts, I don’t know this… I can’t work it out… I’m so stupid, you’re all tied up in negativity—in “nots”: I’m not remembering anything. I’m not going to pass. I’m not smart enough. Of course, all this negativity makes you feel horrible about yourself. The self-doubt kicks up dust-loads of fear—that you’re going to fail, of what will happen if you don’t perform well, and fear of what others will think of you if you do poorly. The anxiety and self-doubt quickly turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Suddenly, you can’t remember what you studied, you aren’t sure about your own reasoning and judgment, and the answers to the questions elude you completely. With all this negativity, your stress level soars and your performance suffers, no matter how well prepared you are.
If you want your performance to show off all the hard work you put in, you need confidence—positive feelings about yourself. You have to believe that you have what it takes to succeed, that you are smart enough, that you do understand the material, and that you can figure out an answer. It’s the same self-fulfilling prophecy I mentioned just above, but this time in a positive direction. When you believe in yourself you are much more likely to perform well.
Self-confidence seems mysterious to many peop
This means you have to train yourself to listen to your positive, affirming inner voice. It’s there, everyone has it. We have just become trained– habituated–to hearing and believing the negative voice. Your positive voice is sending you encouraging messages all the time — “You’ve got what it takes. You can do it. You’ve handled difficult experiences before.”
Train yourself, when you are challenged on a test, to turn to the positive voice. In my book, Chapter 5, How to Be Confident, goes into this process in detail. I encourage you to check it out.
I’m speaking this afternoon in New Orleans at an exciting convention: the Fall Forum for the Coalition for Essential Schools. It’s a terrific group of progressive educators from all over the country. The topic of my talk: How to Make Testing Empowering. I’ll talk all about tuning into the positive inner voice.
Send me your questions and experiences.
