Higher test scores. A tip for parents.
November 11th, 2009
Talking about his family, President Obama said, “And part of our job as parents — Michelle and my job — is not just to tell our kids what to do, but to start instilling in them a sense that they want to do it for themselves.”
I remember a high school student brought in by her parents. I asked her, “Do you know why you are here?” She immediately replied, “Yes. My parents want me to get higher SAT score. And I don’t want to work for it.”
Then the three of them leaned in. All eyes were on me…
I took down a glass bottle of gold glitter from my shelf. I shook it up and down and said to her, with a small smile, “This is magic dust. Take it home. Every night before you go to sleep, sprinkle it over your head. Your scores may go up.”
She laughed heartily. Then we began working together. I gave her some tools to practice with.
At our next coaching session she came in and shrugged, “I didn’t do any of the things you said.”
I was patient and understanding. Again, at the end of the second session I gave her some tools to practice with.
She came back and again, the same thing, “I didn’t do any of the things you said.”
I looked her in the eye and said, “You are a bright kid. But I can’t work with you anymore. This is a waste of your time, my time, your parents’ money.”
She was shocked. We started a dialogue. I found out there was a school that she wanted to go to. But to get into that school she needed to get her SAT to a certain level.
Bingo! In that moment she got it. She wasn’t doing it for her parents. She was doing it to get to where she wanted to go.
From then on she really worked with me on the performance model. And she got into the college of her choice.
This is what President Obama said about his daughter Malia doing better on a test, “what was happening was she had started wanting it more than us. Now, once you get to that point, our kids are on our [sic] way. But the only way they get to that point is if we’re helping them get to that point.”
If your child is facing and important test, talk about the test together. Make sure that the goal of a higher score is your child’s goal, not just yours. Help them see that it’s about their future and what they want for themselves. There’s more for you in Chapter 9: Help for Parents.
Send in your experiences and questions.
